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Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Buys a House

Lieutenant Disher: So how's the new house?
Adrian Monk: Uh, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about it. Every 20 minutes it's something else. Something is rusted or corroded... Or falling apart or about to fall apart.
Lieutenant Disher: Wow, I can't wait to see it.
Adrian Monk: It's like nightmare except for the part where you wake up and it's all over. Why didn't you warn me?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I did. I tried to. I think we all did.
Adrian Monk: Well, why didn't you tie me down and shoot me in the leg? What's the good of having a gun If you don't shoot your friend in the leg when he's about to buy an old house?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Next time I will, I promise.

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