Adrian Monk Quote #880
Captain Stottlemeyer: Adrian Monk, Natalie Teeger, this is Marty Eels. He's a private investigator.
Marty Eels: Hey, how you doing? [shakes Monk's hand] How you doing? I hear good things. Good things. Don't worry. I'm not competition. [Natalie hands Monk a wipe] I'm just here to help. Can I have one of those? So what have we got?
Adrian Monk: Captain, I don't think the manager did this. For one thing, he didn't lock the door behind him. Plus, I notice some more blood by the curb. I think there was a second shooting.
Marty Eels: Yeah, he could be right. Very good. Nicely done. Nicely done. [to Natalie] Thanks, sweetheart.
Lieutenant Disher: Captain! He's right. I think he belongs to the store manager. Harold Gumbal. Geary St., Oakland.
Marty Eels: You know, if the manager was robbing his own store, he wouldn't bring his dog along.
Adrian Monk: Or leave him behind. No, the manager is not the guy.
Marty Eels: No, that's right. The manager is not the guy.
Adrian Monk: Here's what happ-
Marty Eels: Here's what happened. Here's what happened! This dog was a hostage. The manager was being forced to rob his store. Something went wrong, and they shot the guard. Excuse me.
Quote from Dr. Kroger
Dr. Kroger: No, no, Adrian, I'm not suggesting that you just give up. I'm saying to you that there is always someone ahead of you. This is the human condition. For instance, there, there's a new psychiatrist here in town, name of Lowenstern. Now, I know that there is no way that I will ever be, well, as good as he is. I know this. I accept it.
Adrian Monk: He's better than you?
Dr. Kroger: He's brilliant. Nominated for a Nobel prize. But, the point is, you think that you might enjoy teaching.
Adrian Monk: I don't know. Tell me more about this Lowenstern.
Dr. Kroger: Lowenstern. I could introduce you. Office is right across the street. He charges $400 an hour.
Adrian Monk: ... So where, where were we?
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Mr. Monk, are you okay? Everybody's waiting.
Adrian Monk: It's over there.
Adrian Monk: Dog, you know. Dog doo.
Natalie: Did you step in it?
Adrian Monk: If I stepped in it, I'd be in that ambulance right now on my way to the emergency room, wouldn't I? Praying for the sweet release that only death can bring.
Quote from Mr. Monk and the Daredevil
Natalie: Where are you going?
Adrian Monk: Bathroom.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why? [Monk is silent] I'll go with you.
Adrian Monk: I don't think so.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, let me go with you.
Natalie: We promised Dr. Kroger we wouldn't leave you alone.
Adrian Monk: I am not suicidal. I just wish I was never born. There's a difference.
Quote from Mr. Monk Is At Your Service
Natalie: Are you afraid of frogs?
Adrian Monk: I don't know. I've never been this close to one. [A frog lands on Monk's shoe] Yes. The answer is yes. Put frogs on the list. Where's the list?
Natalie: I got it. I got it. Where does it go?
Adrian Monk: Put them between possums and, uh, soccer riots. No, no, no. Uh, after after soccer riots. And before, uh, before hailstones. Yeah, so it goes...
Natalie: I got it, I got it: Soccer riots, frogs, hailstones.
Adrian Monk: At least now we know. Information really is power.