Adrian Monk Quote #534
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Goes to Jail
Sylvia Fairbourn: Mr. Monk.
Sharona: You look surprised.
Sylvia Fairbourn: Why would I be surprised?
Adrian Monk: Maybe because Spyder Rudner didn't kill me.
Inmate: Where's the friggin' remote? 'Cause we're missin 'the game.
Jim Moret: [on TV] I'm Jim Moret. Welcome to Book Talk. Reclusive billionaire Lambert Lawson died today of kidney failure.
Adrian Monk: Mrs. Fairbourn?
Jim Moret: Our guest today is the author of "Richer Than God".
Adrian Monk: Mrs. Fairbourn?
Sharona: Is this a bad time?
Sylvia Fairbourn: Yes, yes, this is a bad time.
J.T. DeMornay: Thank you, Jim.
Jim Moret: Congratulations. This book is a huge success, and I understand it's selling a lot better than your first book.
J.T. DeMornay: It would be hard not to. My first book sold, like, 50 copies, and I think my mother bought 42 of them.
Adrian Monk: Mrs. Fairbourn, Spyder Rudner said he never met Ray Kaspo and had never been to Calgary.
Sylvia Fairbourn: Well, Mr. Monk, who are you going to believe, me or a man who killed four people?
Sharona: Right now, we're not sure.
Monk Quotes
‘Mr. Monk Goes to Jail’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Here. How about this? I'll pat myself down.
Guard: You're gonna pat yourself down?
Adrian Monk: I'm an honest man. I'm an ex-cop. You can trust me.
Guard: You're an ex-cop?
[Monk starts patting himself down. He pauses briefly to see the unimpressed reaction of the guard. As he resumes, he feels something in his own pocket]
Adrian Monk: Wait. Wait, wait. What's this? Oh, hey, hold on a second. What is this? Nail clippers? Where do I think I'm goin' with these? Can't bring that in here. I'll get these back when I leave.
Sharona: [to the guard] Thank you.
Adrian Monk: Thank you.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Nazi Inmate #1: I haven't beaten up a white boy in a long time.
Nazi Inmate #2: It'll come back to you. It's like ridin' a bike.
Adrian Monk: Excuse me. Excuse me. [reorients the inmate's Swastika pin] You'll thank me later.
Nazi Inmate #1: This is gonna be fun.
Adrian Monk: Okay, but before the fun, you might wanna return Spyder Rudner's watch.
Nazi Inmate #1: What?
Adrian Monk: The watch you stole from his cell. Uh, you can either give it to Spyder, or you can give it to me, or you can give it to Spyder.
Nazi Inmate #1: [hands over watch] You're gonna wish you were never born.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I'm way ahead of you.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think you're right, but that still leaves us with the big question: Why would anybody bother to spike a condemned prisoner's last meal?
Adrian Monk: His last meal?
Warden Christie: He was scheduled to be executed at midnight.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What do you think?
Adrian Monk: I think I'm out of here. I'm going home.
Sharona: Adrian!
Adrian Monk: I'm not sure it matters who killed this guy. He was gonna die in 45 minutes anyway. Sharona, I hate this place. I-I-I can't breathe in here. It's like... It's like a prison.
Sharona: It is a prison!