Adrian Monk: Sheriff, what do you think? About the waitress.
Sheriff Bates: Well, I think... What do I think? I think she went to Denver to be with her boyfriend.
Cora: I told you.
Adrian Monk: No, no, no. Sheriff. Sheriff. What about the parakeet? And the missing rug. And look... Look, wait.
What about the note? I don't think she wrote this note herself. See that? Sheriff.
Sheriff Bates: Mr... I'm sorry, I forgot your name.
Adrian Monk: So have I.
Cora: Jerry.
Adrian Monk: Jerry.
Sheriff Bates: Jerry, it's not like it is on TV. In real life, things are pretty much the way they seem. For example, this looks like a drunk driving accident, right? Well, that's exactly what it is.
Adrian Monk: He- He was drunk?
Sheriff Bates: Oh, yeah, drunk as a skunk. Eight o'clock this morning, Roger Zisk, local hotshot ploughed through that fence into these bees and got stung about 100 times. Idiot.