Jay Quote #479

Quote from Jay in Open House of Horrors

Gloria: Jay, you have to get ready for Mitch and Cam's party.
Jay: Gloria, does my skin look looser to you?
Gloria: What?
Jay: Maybe I should try some of that fancy neck cream of yours. Don't you have some with specks of diamonds in it or something?

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 ‘Open House of Horrors’ Quotes

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] You don't get to be district salesman of the year without thinking inside the box. That's right. I said "inside." You know why? 'Cause while everyone's chasing each other around outside the box, you know what the box is? [tapping his skull] Empty.

Quote from Phil

Claire: [on the phone] How's your open house?
Phil: Pretty empty, actually. I kind of just took it out on a Harry Potter. Seriously, though, a Gryffindor letting his mom carry his Quidditch broom? How Hufflepuff is that?

Quote from Luke

Luke: Why are there giant lollipops all over the front yard? And why do they taste so bad?
Alex: Because they're made out of cardboard, mouth-breather.
Phil: Hey! The world needs more dreamers, Luke. Never stop licking things.