Jay Quote #477
Quote from Jay in Open House of Horrors
Jay: I'm not mad about the ticket. It's just the first time I couldn't charm my way out of one of these things.
[aside to camera:]
Jay: The way I see it, it's not a ticket. It's a conversation.
[flashback:]
Jay: No offense. You don't need that siren. You could stop traffic just getting out of that squad car.
Police Officer: License and registration, please.
Jay: I, uh I'm no stranger to the police academy myself. Seen all seven of them.
Police Officer: Sir, no one's seen all seven. Is this information accurate?
Jay: Yeah. Uh, except for the weight. I thought they wanted to know how much I could curl.
Modern Family Quotes
‘Open House of Horrors’ Quotes
Quote from Phil
Phil: [aside to camera] You don't get to be district salesman of the year without thinking inside the box. That's right. I said "inside." You know why? 'Cause while everyone's chasing each other around outside the box, you know what the box is? [tapping his skull] Empty.
Quote from Phil
Claire: [on the phone] How's your open house?
Phil: Pretty empty, actually. I kind of just took it out on a Harry Potter. Seriously, though, a Gryffindor letting his mom carry his Quidditch broom? How Hufflepuff is that?
Quote from Luke
Luke: Why are there giant lollipops all over the front yard? And why do they taste so bad?
Alex: Because they're made out of cardboard, mouth-breather.
Phil: Hey! The world needs more dreamers, Luke. Never stop licking things.