Phil Quote #1728
Haley: Uh-oh. Here comes The Great Snoozedini.
Phil: [wearily] You see before you three ordinary cups. Cups you'd find in any kitchen. Nothing magical about them. Here, we have one new potato. Keep your eye on the cup with the potato. Anybody here from out of town?
Haley: I feel bad. Should we wake him up?
Dylan: Not until we find out where the potato is. It's under that one, right?
Phil: Is the potato here? Is the potato here? Ohh. This trick's a real... lemon.
Haley: [laughs]
Phil: Good night, everyone.
Haley: [gasps] Amazing!
Phil: [snores]
Modern Family Quotes
‘Red Alert’ Quotes
Quote from Haley
Haley: Look, everyone's taking this whole thing way too seriously. When my daughter has her first Shark Week, we're just gonna laugh about it. That's what girls want. I mean, it is bananas what happens down there every month. Only good thing is, it reminds me to pay my bills. Oh, that's why my credit card keeps getting denied.
Quote from Haley
Haley: Hey, bitch.
Lily: [o.s.] Haley's here?!
Haley: That's right. And cheer up. You're missing the whole silver lining in all of this. A period is a Get Out Of Jail Free card for everything. Didn't study for a test? "Oh, wah. I have cramps." Don't want to go to gym class? "Sorry... lady problems." Wanna eat a whole sheet cake? Shut down a bad date? Smuggle some weed into a concert in your tampon box? Ain't nobody looking in there.
Lily: What is wrong with you?!
Quote from Lily
Manny: Lily? Step-Uncle Manny's here. Cherish this. You've been given the ability to create life. Each cramp, each migraine should remind you...
Lily: [o.s.] Get the [bleep] out of here, Manny!
Manny: Take care, everybody.