Cameron Quote #396
Cameron: [aside to camera] This week, the world lost a great man, and I lost a mentor. For nearly 60 years, Professor Ringmaster Al Uzielli helped young hopefuls like me find their clown persona.
Mitchell: "Professor Ringmaster"?
Cameron: It's a very prestigious title at Clown College. One step below Piemaster General.
Quote from Gloria
Jay: Kids are looking for role models. Why do you think Fonzie was so popular?
Gloria: He told people that they were rich, but really took their money with his scheme?
Jay: No, that's a- Yes. Those people were victims of a Fonzie scheme.
Quote from Manny
Manny: Salutations, Wyatt. I'm so glad you're joining me for an afternoon of mirth.
Manny: Ah, good evening, Reuben-San. May I ask you to remove your shoes? Tonight, we are going Japanese.
Manny: Ah! Hebalaboo ridabeley lai mubay rumboo. I invented a new language this morning.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: [aside to camera] For several years, I was one half of the renowned clown duo Fizbo & Lewis. We were huge.
Mitchell: In children's parties.
Cameron: Anyway, I disbanded the group shortly after I met Mitchell. It's hard to have a relationship and a clown career. That's the reason there are so many single clowns.
Mitchell: Just one of the reasons.
Cameron: Anyway, um, Lewis hasn't spoken to me since. He's still bitter, and I don't blame him. It's kind of like I broke up the Beatles.
Mitchell: Of children's parties.
Quote from Unplugged
Cameron: [affected accent] The tribe elders foretold that though I lay with fire-haired man, the giving hawk would bring us baby with her skin the color of sweet corn, which my people call maize.
Mitchell: Okay. Please stop.
Mr. Plympton: Well, uh-
Cameron: Knowledge is her sustenance. Like so much maize which, you'll remember, means corn.
Mitchell: What if I was a single dad?
Quote from Alone Time
Gloria: It's a bad time, Cam. Turns out, it wasn't the allergies. I feel terrible. You shouldn't be close to me. I don't want to get you sick.
Cameron: Oh, gosh. No danger of that. I have the immune system of a horse. When I was a kid, I needed a transfusion, and there was a mix-up with the vials. I've contacted Marvel Comics repeatedly, but they don't seem interested.
Quote from Catch of the Day
Mitchell: When did we decide that Lily could go to Disneyland? I thought we were gonna talk about this.
Cameron: She's missing one day of school. I missed half of the fifth grade because of a pig bite, and I'm just as educated as anyone else.
Mitchell: Really? When we met, you thought you grew up in Central America.
Cameron: Missouri is in the center of America.
Mitchell: Okay. You also thought that the cavemen killed the dinosaurs.
Cameron: Were you there?