Jay Quote #87

Quote from Jay in Not in My House

Jay: Who are we kidding? We both got it pretty good. Hell, I'm probably fighting with your mom more than I'm fighting with Gloria on this thing.
Mitchell: A bird fell out of a tree and he fed it with an eyedropper.
Jay: Just drop it, kid. We're both with people different from us, and that's gonna create stuff, but you want different. Your mom and I were perfect on paper and you know how that ended. [holding Barkley's hands] What I got now is a lot better. Sure, people look at us sometimes. And sometimes even I can't believe we're together. But we're happy. At the end of the day, there's no one I'd rather come home to.
Mitchell: You mean Gloria.
Jay: Who else?

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 ‘Not in My House’ Quotes

Quote from Jay

Jay: Looks like I missed the party, huh?
Mitchell: What is- What is that doing here?
Jay: He is a gift for you and Cam.
Mitchell: Thank you.
Jay: He lost his monocle on the drive. Head was out the window.
Cameron: Well, they love that.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: [as Barkley, in a British accent] And so it ends. Sadly, I've been summarily dismissed from the employ of Masters Cameron and Mitchell. The former being an utter delight, and the latter being a humorless snoot.
Mitchell: Just come on. Get him in the car. The thrift shop's closing.
Cameron: What is this exciting thrift shop you speak of? Many of my relatives were taken out of their homes to be released into the green pastures in their maturity-
Mitchell: Did you just say "matoority?"
Cameron: Unhand me, you brute! [later] I regret nothing! I'll pay you. I'm a comfortable man. I've been stealing from your father for days. [later] Oh, is there any better feeling in the world than having your ears flap in the wind?
Mitchell: You know what? Get out.
Cameron: You mean it? Sweet freedom?
Mitchell: No, not you, Barkley. Cameron, out.
Cameron: Oh.

 Jay Pritchett Quotes

Quote from Kids These Days

Jay: I hate losing to a team with a Viking mascot. Hey, you died out and became Swedes! Hip-hip-hooray for socialism and seasonal depression!

Quote from Bringing Up Baby

Cameron: It's a French Canadian delicacy called poutine.
Jay: Mm. Well, it looks like vomit, so I'm not pou-ting it in my mouth.