Gloria Quote #828
Phil: Okay, G, time to let you in on the dark underbelly of our business. Someone is trying to take money from my pockets, and I need to find out who.
Gloria: Do you need me to go and shake some trees for you? I did that kind of job in Colombia. I didn't get paid, but I got great references, and my cousin got to keep one ear.
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: Oh, it's so hot. I can't wait to jump in that pool.
Lily: I never said I'd get in the pool.
Cameron: Okay, Lily, stop. You are an exotic Vietnamese beauty. Scarlett Johansson would play you in a movie until Twitter told her she couldn't.
Quote from Gloria
Lindsay: You're kidding. Another one?
Phil: I'm afraid so, Lindsay.
Sam: Who keeps taking our signs?
Gloria: Don't worry, Sam, we're going to find out. Miss, do you have any enemies? Are you in a blood feud?
Gloria: Have you recently joined a political opposition?
Quote from Come Fly with Me
Gloria: [aside to camera] I always wanted a daughter. To dress her up with pretty dresses, do her hair, her nails, her makeup. [chuckles] No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. [laughs] Ay, but just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.
Quote from Unplugged
Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!