Jay Quote #929
Jay: What the hell are we doing? Dancing around, telling secrets like girls at a slumber party. I can just imagine my old man with his buddies sitting at their lawn chairs, laughing their asses off that I missed a whole day of football 'cause I'm trying to get in touch with my emotions. These guys didn't do that crap. These were men! His best friend Tommy Ryan lost half a finger in a sheet metal press. Waited until his shift ended to go to the hospital. I broke my collar bone in a football game. There was dad up in the stands giving me the old "be tough." So I played two more downs before I passed out. My date, Maryjo Klumsky, left the senior dance with another guy. Broke my heart. 2 am at the kitchen table and my old man's telling me, "eat the sandwich and forget about her." Feelings! I didn't even cry at his funeral. You believe that? The guy was my whole world. Not a tear. Everybody looking at me like, like I didn't love him. But he knew. He had to know, right?
Gloria: Of course he did.
Jay: Son of a bitch, that felt good getting that out.
Quote from Phil
Phil: I didn't feel like going to my grandpa's house that Sunday, so I pretended to have a cold. Wouldn't you know it, a few days later...
Claire: Oh, no.
Phil: Yep. I got the cold. I thought it was Karma, so I hopped on my bike and I rode straight to my grandpa's. I climbed in his lap and I hugged him so hard. We even shared an ice cream cone. It's a memory I'll always cherish, 'cause in a crazy coincidence, he got a cold too, and was dead within a week.
Quote from Phil
Dr. Debra Radcliffe: Why don't we start with a fun activity to loosen everyone up?
Jay: I don't care how loose we get, I'm not spilling my guts to some table lamp pretending it's my mother.
Dr. Debra Radcliffe: And I won't ask you to, Jay. That kind of silliness gives therapy a bad name. We are going to play a game called Tiger, Rock Star, Bunny.
Phil: I got this. Uh, marry the tiger, kill the bunny-
Dr. Debra Radcliffe: Mnh-mnh. That's not my game.
Quote from Gloria
Dr. Debra Radcliffe: Welcome, everyone. I'm Dr. Debra Radcliffe. And today I'm going to help you clean out your junk drawer. Of course, I'm talking about an emotional junk drawer where we store all the pain, fear, anger that shapes us. Who would like to share why they're here?
Jay: This one didn't have her glasses at the high-school auction. Thought she was bidding on a home organizer.
Gloria: And what a lucky mistake. In Colombia, we never get to do things like this. The only time that I ever went to a seminar was how to escape the trunk of a car when your hands are tied behind your back.
Quote from Kids These Days
Jay: I hate losing to a team with a Viking mascot. Hey, you died out and became Swedes! Hip-hip-hooray for socialism and seasonal depression!
Quote from Bringing Up Baby
Cameron: It's a French Canadian delicacy called poutine.
Jay: Mm. Well, it looks like vomit, so I'm not pou-ting it in my mouth.