Phil: Ladies and gentlemen, he's the emperor of escrow. He puts the toot in tooter. Let's put your hands together for Phil Dunphy! [runs out on stage] Thanks for the kind introduction, me. Now, unlike past years I'm not gonna stand up here and talk your ears off. No, ladies and gentlemen. You deserve more. This year, I'm gonna sing them off. [to the tune of Styx's "Sailing"] I'm selling away Set an open house for Saturday... A gathering of agents Appeared in caravan... I'm a new divorce Now I need a house That's cat-friendly.