Claire: So, Haley, how long have I been paying this guy to make out with you?
Haley: Uh, about a week. First it was just to shut him up, but now I'm starting to like him.
Claire: If you really like him though, you have to break up with Dylan.
Phil: What? No!
Claire: Believe me. And it's best for everybody if you just do it quickly.
Phil: I can't believe we're having this conversation. He's like part of the family.