Gloria: Did you really have to call her that? A gold digger.
Claire: You know what, dad? It was a year ago. And it was a natural question to ask. She's a beautiful, hot woman, and you're not exactly... You know.
Jay: Not exactly what?
Claire: Mitchell, a little help?
Mitchell: No, you are doing great.
Jay: See, this is exactly why we sweep things under the rug. So people don't get hurt.
Phil: Yeah. Until you sweep too much under the rug. Then you got a lumpy rug. It creates a tripping hazard. You open yourself up to lawsuits. Boy, you can go a really long time without blinking.