Mitchell: I was nine years old, at camp. There were mosquitoes, compost toilets, mean kids.
Jay: It was theater camp, wasn't it?
Mitchell: Naturally, you remember that part. The point is, I hated it. I was I was cold, and I was scared especially after this kid told this terrifying ghost story. So I snuck away to a pay phone. I called you, crying. And, in a performance even more predictable than Todd Jansen's Artful Dodger you refused to pick me up.
Jay: For your own good. Learning to fend for yourself is an important part of becoming a man.
Mitchell: Before you claim that all my professional success stems from your very, very brave decision to stay at home on the couch watching The Bionic Woman, I am going to go get Lily so that she knows she can always count on me. [coat trapped in car trunk] It's fine.
Jay: If that's your idea of a dramatic exit it's no wonder Todd Jansen got that part.