Maeby: You would've had to lie about scuba, 'cause you would've been scared.
George Michael: Why do you say I'm scared of scuba? I'm not.
Maeby: You passed out at the aquarium.
George Michael: Well, they make you feel like you're underwater with all these giant...
Maeby: Dolphins?
George Michael: I still think that was some kind of smiling, kind of bemused baby shark.

Gob: So, what's up?
George Michael: I, uh, need you to make some fake I.D.'s for me and Maeby.
Gob: Like a passport?
George Michael: Yeah, yeah. That'd be great. Oh, and, uh, preferably French. I like the way they think.

Michael: [to Maeby] Ah, hey. Did that Murphybrown thing upset you?
George Michael: Oh, did that actress die? Oh, [bleeps] you, 2015.
Michael: Oh, no, this is different.