Lois Quote #486
Quote from Lois in Victor's Other Family
Sylvia: I don't want us to have another argument, Lois.
Lois: Oh, we don't have to. I have some news. We did a blood test. I'm not Victor's daughter. It turns out I'm not related to you people at all.
Roberta: But we're so alike!
Lois: I know. It's amazing, isn't it? You know what's even more amazing? It doesn't change anything. Because no matter what, I know that I am Victor's daughter. That horrible, deceitful, bitter man was my father. He was my father when I was two, and he locked me in the closet. He was my father when I was eight, and he got me drunk. He was my father on my wedding day when he told Hal he could do better. He was my dad.
Sylvia: You've got a funny little brain, young lady, but if it makes you feel better, I'm happy.
Lois: Well, you know, the same way I know that he was my father, I know that Ida was his wife. Not technically, not legally, but I know it. And you know it, too. And that's why you hate her so much.
Sylvia: I don't hate, dear. I'm Canadian.
Lois: Well, it's why you're angry then. But the problem is, you're angry at the wrong person. It's not Ida. It's Victor, your husband, who betrayed you both, who manipulated you both. Who made you both feel like you weren't worth being the only one. You hate him, and you know what? He deserves it. Funny thing is, I came up here because I thought Roberta and I were the same, but it's you and my mother who are really alike.
Sylvia: I'll sign whatever you want. Just don't ever say that again.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Victor's Other Family’ Quotes
Quote from Ida
Lois: [answers phone] Hello? Oh, hi, Mom.
Ida: I lost the case. They said I was never legally married to Victor because there were no documents. Oh, that judge had guts after what I mailed him.
Lois: That's very sad, Mom.
Ida: Not married! Victor came to my house and defeated each of my brothers in combat. The proof was the bite marks on his back!
Quote from Ida
Lois: Aha! A canceled check for Dad's cyst removal with your signature on it!
Ida: Beautiful! Let them try and say that's not a marriage! And look! The pig Victor got for my dowry!
Lois: It might take a year or two, but we are gonna get that 40 bucks out of their eye sockets! [Ida laughs] You know, Mom, if this thing does go to trial, it might help us if you worked a little bit on your demeanor. You know, when you deal with other people, you could be pleasant and say, "How are you?" And that way people will think that you care about their feelings, and then they might care about yours.
Ida: What the hell are you talking about?
Lois: I'm just trying to help you.
Ida: I know you are, Vuschka. I'm sorry. It's just a lot for me to remember. You can show me more tricks tomorrow.
Lois: It's kind of funny, huh, Mom? After all these years, you and I are actually helping each other.
Ida: Well, you live as long as I have, you get used to anything.
Quote from Ida
Lois: It's the results of the blood test that lawyer wanted me to take. This says paternity is genetically impossible. This says that Dad is not my father!
Ida: I was 80% sure you were his.
Lois: What?!
Ida: The very second Victor walked in the house, I dragged him to the bedroom. I guess his soldiers got outflanked.
Lois: What?! Mother, how could you do something like that?!
Ida: I was lonely. Your father had a lot of business trips. Now we know what his business was.
Lois: Then who is my father?
Ida: Oh, what do you want to get into that for? Radu Gogorsky. The only interesting thing about him was he could walk up a flight of stairs on his hands.
Lois: What about Susan? Is she Dad's daughter?
Ida: Anything's possible.
Lois: How could you lie like this?
Ida: Sweetie, don't be upset. We can change this "A" to a "B." The judge will completely buy it.