Dewey Quote #48
Dewey: Live, live, die. Live, live, live, live, die.
Hal: Hey, what happened to the judicial system presided over by a tribunal of wise elders?
Dewey: I had 'em lined up and shot.
Hal: Ah. You know, son, maybe you've been spending too much...
Dewey: Silence! Seize him!
Hal: All right, son, I think it's time you goose-stepped off to bed.
Dewey: Dad! You're embarrassing me in front of my men.
Quote from Dewey
Hal: So, Dewey, I'm thinking our little community can use a school.
Dewey: Don't need it. Everyone's born smart.
Hal: Oh, that's beautiful, son. It's a utopia.
Dewey: And anyone stupid will be ground up for food.
Hal: Ah... a cannibal utopia. Interesting.
Quote from Spangler
Spangler: Please don't let me disturb you. Make yourselves at home. Wait a minute. This is not your home. This is not your mama's house. There's no maid here to clean up your toys, and, yet, as I look around this institution of learning, I see video games, I see girlie magazines. And I see Garth... Garth Vader defiling our Wall of Remembrance. [tears poster down with hook] Well, clearly things have gotten a little lax around here. I blame myself, but it is you who will suffer. From now on, there will be weekly inspections. And you will relinquish all non-standard-issue personal effects and artwork. It is time for you to learn that true happiness comes from within.
Francis: Is that why you're so happy, sir?
Spangler: I'm as giddy as a schoolgirl, Cadet.
Quote from Dewey's Dog
Dewey: Ever since the day I was born, you guys have been torturing me. I remember you trying to switch me for another baby at the park. I remember you telling me the tooth fairy was a vampire. I remember every wet willy, every booger sandwich, every stink hat-
Reese: Dewey, we're sorry!
Dewey: ...every waffle butt, every Chester Backster and every purple nurple! And now you're going to pay. [Marshmallow barks]
Malcolm: Dewey, this isn't gonna work. Mom and Dad'll be home in a few hours, that dog will be gone, you'll be in trouble and we'll kick your ass for the next ten years!
Dewey: I know. So we'd better get started.
Malcolm: What do you want?
Dewey: Everything. I want everything.
Quote from Goodbye Kitty
Dewey: Mom, I have a proposal for you. Now, before you start poking holes in it, I'd like you to hear me out. All I want is no more school and no more big boy clothes. I'd liked to be bathed and rocked before I go to sleep and have all my food mashed up. In return, I'll be adorable and...
Lois: Are you wearing a diaper?
Dewey: I want you to know my level of commitment. [clenches face]
Lois: [o.s.] Oh, my God!
Quote from Experiment
Dewey: Hello, sir.
Man: Sorry. I don't eat candy.
Dewey: Oh, these aren't candy bars. These are America Bars.
Man: What are you talking about?
Dewey: You know, America Bars. Well, actually, I prefer the term "Freedom Bars." You love America, right?
Man: Well, of course I do.
Dewey: Well, there are a lot of people out there who are hoping we won't do our part.
Man: What do you mean?
Dewey: You know. People. People who don't have this country's best interests at heart.
Man: So, these candy bars help fight terrorism?
Dewey: With every chocolatey, nougaty bite.