Reese Quote #669
Quote from Reese in Cattle Court
Carrie: This is amazing. Isn't it great finding someone with the same values?
Reese: Exactly. We couldn't be more on the same page. [Carrie grabs Reese's baseball cap] Hey, give me back my hat!
Carrie: You want your hat back, come and get it.
Reese: Oh. Oh, no.
Carrie: Hey, look at those gorgeous dogs.
Reese: Who gives a crap? I mean, except us. When is America going to finally realize that dogs are not our enemy?
Carrie: Wow, they really love you.
Reese: Yeah. This happens all the time. I guess they can smell that I really love animals. Get out of here, you mangy bastards!
[Reese notices a rasher of bacon sticking out from under his cap which Carrie is wearing]
Carrie: What? What's wrong, Reese?
Reese: Hey, you know what I realize? That is not my hat.
Carrie: What are you talking about?
Reese: Some crazy guy just shoved it of my head and took off. I have no idea what's inside of it!
Carrie: Oh, my God, is this bacon?!
Reese: That's not mine, I swear! I've been set up! And that is not my pork chop! Oh, my God, the conspiracy goes all the way to the top!
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Cattle Court’ Quotes
Quote from Hal
Lois: And we can all thank Reese for the wonderful dinner he brought home from work.
Hal: Oh, way to go, son. And someday, all that toner I keep bringing home will come in handy, too.
Quote from Dewey
Dewey: Six, seven, eight, nine, ten. I win. Wow, I smoked you again, Dad. Looks like I'm just better at Life than you.
Hal: Good for you, Dewey. But I hope you know that this isn't how things work in the real world. It's very oversimplified.
Dewey: Hmm.
Hal: I mean, you can't just break into a zoo, roll a couple of elevens and suddenly become the dean of a university.
Dewey: I did.
Hal: Son, I'm just trying to give you a life lesson here.
Dewey: Yet that's my orange limo sitting at the finish line, isn't it? Interesting.
Hal: [pretends to read card] "Dewey goes straight to bed with no dessert." Interesting.
Quote from Hal
Dewey: Dad? What's going on? I got your message at school. Is everything okay?
Hal: Everything's about to be. Have a seat.
Dewey: You pulled me out of a math test to play a game with you?
Hal: This is much more important than some useless math test. I have to make sure that you understand you got lucky last time. Life won't always go your way, Dewey. And the sooner you learn that lesson, the better. Sit down. Sit.
[later:]
Dewey: "You study hard and become an astronaut." All right.
Hal: What?! What?! What kind of lesson is this stupid game teaching you?! Where's the card that tells you your hemorrhoids are not covered by your health plan, huh?! Oh, would that not make a fun game?