Hal Quote #778
Quote from Hal in Secret Boyfriend
Dewey: I have friends.
Phelps: Excuse me?
Dewey: I have friends.
Hal: Friends who don't mind driving an extra thirty miles to the next miniature gold course, even if it does have a crow problem.
Phelps: Are you threatening me?
Hal: Boy. Sure sounds like he is to me.
Phelps: Listen, kid, your ball didn't ring the bell. Ball doesn't ring a bell, no free game.
Hal: And yet the boy feels like he got a hole-in-one.
Phelps: Listen, if you want to think you got a hole-in-one, I'll give you a scorecard. You can give yourself 18 holes-in-one. Excuse me. [Hal grabs the scorecard, scrunches it up and throws it at Phelps]
Hal: Dewey, no! [restrains Dewey] Don't worry, I got him, but I am not always going to be here! Come on. Calm down.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Secret Boyfriend’ Quotes
Quote from Reese
Lois: I don't see you looking in the want ads.
Reese: You know, I had a job, Mom, and looking back on the whole experience, I've come to the conclusion that it's just not for me. I'm done with the job thing.
Lois: I'm sorry, Reese, but not working isn't one of your options.
Reese: Okay, I think I know what's going on here. Now, look, I want you to know that I'm not criticizing you and Dad. You obviously don't mind wasting your lives doing meaningless, repetitive tasks for unappreciative bosses. I respect that.
Lois: Do you mind telling me what you intend to do?
Reese: I'd like to finish my cereal.
Lois: All right, Reese, that's it! I am tired of fighting you on this. Until you get a job, this free ride is over. [exits]
Reese: Is anyone else getting a little tired of her?
Quote from Jessica
Malcolm: I did it! I told Vicki it was over. And it felt so good.
Jessica: Wow, that's great, Malcolm. To be honest, I didn't think you had the strength to do it.
Malcolm: So that's it. Now we're free to be together.
Jessica: Yeah. You know, there's just one problem. I don't feel that way about you, Malcolm.
Malcolm: What? But what about what you said?
Jessica: Yeah, I lied about that. I just couldn't stand to see someone make a fool of you. Someone besides me, that is.
Malcolm: But- Great. I just blew off Vicki, and now I'm left standing here looking like a complete idiot.
Jessica: But you recognize it. See, you're getting better already.
Malcolm: You're so sure of yourself, aren't you? Well, the truth is, I didn't need you. I could've figured this out on my own.
Jessica: Yeah, sometime after your secret marriage and three secret kids.
Malcolm: Shut up.
Jessica: Look, Malcolm, I'm on your side. I mean, do you really think I just hang out with you out of pity? You're an amazing complicated guy who's always surprising me. I mean, who knows where things could go between us. [kisses Malcolm] Yeah, nothing. Good night, Malcolm.
Quote from Reese
Reese: I had the weirdest dream last night. This crazy witch with snakes for hair was screaming at me. It was like she was going to kill me, but for some reason it was really important to her that I get a job.
Malcolm: Did she have bugged out crazy eyes?
Reese: Yeah!
Malcolm: She shows up in a lot of my dreams.
Lois: [enters] Good morning, Reese. You going to get a job today?
Reese: Okay, this is a little freaky.