Craig Quote #127

Quote from Craig in Living Will

Vic Feldspar: For God's sake, son, you have no upper body strength at all. I know girls that could get out of this hold.
Craig: Get your foot off my neck so I can kill you.
Vic Feldspar: Craigy, do you have any idea how pathetic you look right now? Do you even care? Are you so wrapped up with being a useless piece of pudge that you can't even see how embarrassed you're making me?
Malcolm: Um, I think he needs to breathe.
Vic Feldspar: I'm going to let you up now. I want you to dust yourself off, suck in your gut, and introduce me to your friends.
Craig: I'm not doing anything you tell me. I hate you. And I wasn't even choking. I was faking it.

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 ‘Living Will’ Quotes

Quote from Lois

Lois: Wow, I remember this: this is Reese's fifth birthday.
Hal: This must be Christmas the same year.
Lois: Oh, he grew up so fast. [holds up X-ray]
Hal: He sure did. Here's Malcolm's first day at school.
Lois: Oh. Remember when we lost Dewey at the flea market.
Hal: Still keeps great time.
Lois: You want to go through the arrest reports?
Hal: I'll pour some more wine.

Quote from Hal

Lois: Hal, do you want Raisin Bran or oatmeal?
Hal: Oatmeal. No, wait, Raisin Bran. No, no oatmeal. Oh, but Raisin Bran's got that crunch. And those raisins. But sometimes you get too many raisins. You don't have that problem with oatmeal. Oh, but oatmeal can be lumpy. But sometimes good lumpy. But, not usually. So definitely it's going to be Raisin Bran... No, eggs!
Lois: You're having Raisin Bran.
Hal: Oh, God, thank you.

Quote from Reese

Craig: Hey, boys, what do you say the four of us have a giant tickle party?! [closes door] Okay, that was just a cover I didn't want to alarm your parents.
Malcolm: What's going on?
Craig: I need you guys to teach me how to fight. There's this jerk who's always picking on me, and I'm sick of it.
Reese: Why are you asking us?
Craig: Because this guy's stronger and faster than me. The only chance I've got is if I fight dirty. And let's face it, your family is legendary for that.
Malcolm: Well, people exaggerate...
Craig: Please, you've got to teach me everything you know.
Reese: I don't think that's such a great idea. I mean, I teach you some tricks, you teach them to someone else, he teaches them to another guy and sooner or later, I'm in a fair fight.