Lois Quote #482

Quote from Lois in Victor's Other Family

Lois: Sylvia, Roberta, your house is so lovely. It's just beautiful, and everything is so fancy.
Sylvia: Well, thank you. I can't take much credit for it, though. You know Victor. He loved to spoil us. Oh, look, the lake house. I think that's the summer we nursed a heron back to health.
Lois: Oh, it's beautiful. Here's one of the tool shed. One time we killed a wasp nest inside it.
Roberta: Look at this one. You girls are dressed like hoboes. Oh, was that a fun costume party?
Lois: Yeah. Really fun. And long.
Roberta: Here's another one of Dad doing his pretend angry face. And you doing a pretend sad face. I don't think you guys are serious in one of these photos.
Lois: That's us. Just a couple of kidders. You know, I can't get over how happy and friendly Dad looks in picture after picture after picture.
Sylvia: Well, you know, Victor wasn't perfect. Sometimes he'd come home a little grumpy. But I'd sit him down, we'd talk it out, and before you knew it, he'd be laughing and joking and giving the girls hugs and kisses.
Lois: You know, I think I need a little fresh air.

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 ‘Victor's Other Family’ Quotes

Quote from Ida

Lois: [answers phone] Hello? Oh, hi, Mom.
Ida: I lost the case. They said I was never legally married to Victor because there were no documents. Oh, that judge had guts after what I mailed him.
Lois: That's very sad, Mom.
Ida: Not married! Victor came to my house and defeated each of my brothers in combat. The proof was the bite marks on his back!

Quote from Ida

Lois: Aha! A canceled check for Dad's cyst removal with your signature on it!
Ida: Beautiful! Let them try and say that's not a marriage! And look! The pig Victor got for my dowry!
Lois: It might take a year or two, but we are gonna get that 40 bucks out of their eye sockets! [Ida laughs] You know, Mom, if this thing does go to trial, it might help us if you worked a little bit on your demeanor. You know, when you deal with other people, you could be pleasant and say, "How are you?" And that way people will think that you care about their feelings, and then they might care about yours.
Ida: What the hell are you talking about?
Lois: I'm just trying to help you.
Ida: I know you are, Vuschka. I'm sorry. It's just a lot for me to remember. You can show me more tricks tomorrow.
Lois: It's kind of funny, huh, Mom? After all these years, you and I are actually helping each other.
Ida: Well, you live as long as I have, you get used to anything.

Quote from Ida

Lois: It's the results of the blood test that lawyer wanted me to take. This says paternity is genetically impossible. This says that Dad is not my father!
Ida: I was 80% sure you were his.
Lois: What?!
Ida: The very second Victor walked in the house, I dragged him to the bedroom. I guess his soldiers got outflanked.
Lois: What?! Mother, how could you do something like that?!
Ida: I was lonely. Your father had a lot of business trips. Now we know what his business was.
Lois: Then who is my father?
Ida: Oh, what do you want to get into that for? Radu Gogorsky. The only interesting thing about him was he could walk up a flight of stairs on his hands.
Lois: What about Susan? Is she Dad's daughter?
Ida: Anything's possible.
Lois: How could you lie like this?
Ida: Sweetie, don't be upset. We can change this "A" to a "B." The judge will completely buy it.