Malcolm Quote #783
Francis: [on the phone] Hey, Malcolm?
Malcolm: Hi, Francis.
Francis: Look, I'm sorry about all this. I shouldn't have sent those guys over. It was stupid.
Malcolm: You know, Francis, we never intended to show the letter to Mom. We just wanted to scare you.
Francis: Yeah, I know. You guys would never do that to me.
Malcolm: But if she did see the letter you know it was just an accident, right?
Francis: Yeah, but Richie has the letter. [Malcolm is silent] Please tell me Richie has the letter.
Malcolm: Richie has coupons. Mom has the letter. But like I said, it was just an accident. I swear.
Francis: So the thing you've been threatening to do all day but had no intention of doing, you did but didn't mean to?
Malcolm: Yeah. You can yell at us now.
Francis: [sighs] No, I guess I deserve it. I shouldn't have ratted on you guys. Mom was just really pressuring me about coming home and, well, I folded.
Malcolm: Coming home?
Francis: Yeah, she said that if I wanted to come home for the summer, I had to tell her about the bike. But that's a just a lame excuse. I'm sorry. [hangs up]
Malcolm: [to camera] Actually, that was a pretty good excuse.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Smunday’ Quotes
Quote from Malcolm
[As Reese sleeps, Malcolm puts his hand in a jug of water]
Malcolm: [to camera] I picked this trick up in camp last year. This is going to be great. Wait for it. Wait for it- Oh, screw it. [pours water on Reese's crotch]
Reese: [wakes up] Oh, man.
Malcolm: What's wrong, Reese?
Reese: Nothing! Just- Just shut up and go to sleep, okay?
Malcolm: [to camera] It's good to be alive.
Quote from Francis
Francis: [on the phone] What are you doing home?
Malcolm: Mom's sick. She thinks it's Sunday. We kind of went with it.
Francis: Cool. Oh, dude, I need you to do me a giant favor. Go check the mail. Okay, there should be a letter there from Southern Alabama State.
Malcolm: Yeah, it's here. Why, did you apply there?
Francis: No, there's probably no point in me ever trying to apply there. I kind of drove a backhoe into their swimming pool.
Malcolm: Oh, man. Did they have to drain the pool?
Francis: No, if you put a ten-foot crack in them, they pretty much drain themselves. They did have to drain the gym, though.
Quote from Reese
Reese: I finally figured out how Mom could tell we were lying.
Malcolm: How?
Reese: Pheromones. She could smell the fear on us. Next time you lie, you have to take a shower first.