Hal Quote #656
Quote from Hal in Living Will
Hal: A man's life is in my hands. This isn't paper or plastic. This is life or death. There's nothing more life or death than life or death.
Lois: Hal, calm down. Panicking isn't going to help.
Hal: You know, this is all your fault.
Lois: What?!
Hal: I am completely unprepared for this. I've had no practice. I haven't made a decision around here in years. When exactly did it get to the point where you make all the decisions in our marriage?
Lois: When you said, "Lois, I want you to make all the decisions in our marriage."
Hal: [whines] Well, you didn't have to listen to me. Oh, I got all this stuff racing through my mind. I, I can't eat, I can't sleep...
Lois: Oh, Hal, if you want, I'll make the decision for you.
Hal: No. I was given this responsibility. A man entrusted his fate in my hands. I can't just shrug that off. I can do this. I just need to focus my mind on the problem and think clearly. Yes. I've got it! Lois, I have made the decision. Want to guess what it is?
Lois: Hal.
Hal: Oh, all right. I'll keep trying.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Living Will’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Lois: Wow, I remember this: this is Reese's fifth birthday.
Hal: This must be Christmas the same year.
Lois: Oh, he grew up so fast. [holds up X-ray]
Hal: He sure did. Here's Malcolm's first day at school.
Lois: Oh. Remember when we lost Dewey at the flea market.
Hal: Still keeps great time.
Lois: You want to go through the arrest reports?
Hal: I'll pour some more wine.
Quote from Hal
Lois: Hal, do you want Raisin Bran or oatmeal?
Hal: Oatmeal. No, wait, Raisin Bran. No, no oatmeal. Oh, but Raisin Bran's got that crunch. And those raisins. But sometimes you get too many raisins. You don't have that problem with oatmeal. Oh, but oatmeal can be lumpy. But sometimes good lumpy. But, not usually. So definitely it's going to be Raisin Bran... No, eggs!
Lois: You're having Raisin Bran.
Hal: Oh, God, thank you.
Quote from Reese
Craig: Hey, boys, what do you say the four of us have a giant tickle party?! [closes door] Okay, that was just a cover I didn't want to alarm your parents.
Malcolm: What's going on?
Craig: I need you guys to teach me how to fight. There's this jerk who's always picking on me, and I'm sick of it.
Reese: Why are you asking us?
Craig: Because this guy's stronger and faster than me. The only chance I've got is if I fight dirty. And let's face it, your family is legendary for that.
Malcolm: Well, people exaggerate...
Craig: Please, you've got to teach me everything you know.
Reese: I don't think that's such a great idea. I mean, I teach you some tricks, you teach them to someone else, he teaches them to another guy and sooner or later, I'm in a fair fight.