TV Quotes

[Malcolm stands in front of the vandalized billboard which now has a speech bubble containing "I WANT RESPECT"]
Malcolm: We can't come down because we are protesting this offensive depiction of women!
Lois: What?!
Reese: What?
Malcolm: We've come up here to make a difference in the world!
Reese: Yeah!
Malcolm: To speak for women like this one who can't speak for themselves!
Reese: Yeah, because they're billboards!
Malcolm: Shut up. We're not coming down until women everywhere get the respect they deserve! No matter how long it takes, we're staying up here!
Lois: Oh, for the love of God. I don't know who you think you're fooling.

Lois: I am their mother, and I say this has gone on long enough! Don't you have snipers with tranquilizer guns or a giant net?! What do I pay taxes for?!

Fran: When your milk duct is blocked, it's called mastitis. It's important that you let your baby suck the obstruction out of the breast, and don't be alarmed if the baby then vomits up a cottage cheese-type substance. Now, join me over here...
Dewey: Like I needed another reason to hate cottage cheese.
Reese: I've been kind of zoning in and out here, but did she just say milk comes out of those things?
Malcolm: Reese, that's what they're for.
Reese: My God! Women are the cows of people!

Lois: Good morning, Malcolm. There's money on the counter for your yearbook.
Malcolm: I don't want to buy a yearbook. I don't want anything that will remind me I ever went to that stupid school.
Reese: How can you say that? Being part of a group is important. Don't you care about loyalty? I think loyalty is the most important thing there is.
Lois: Well, I'm glad at least one of my sons knows something about that.
[Reese sees the mail man walking down the drive:]
Reese: [shouts through the window] Hey! What are you doing here?! This isn't your house! You don't live here! We live here! This is our house! What do you want?! Huh?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?!