[fantasy:]
Mr. Waffles: Is this any way to start your morning?
Reese: Mr. Waffles?
Mr. Waffles: Reese, you can't give up! You got to keep going. You got to keep trying.
Reese: You don't know what I've been through. I've been shot at, chased, married, and when the guy found out I was a dude, it wasn't like a total deal breaker.
Mr. Waffles: Son, I know it's hard, but everything worth doing is hard. When third quarter profits were down, did Mr. Waffles give up? No, he did not. He put more lip-smacking delight in every bite!
Reese: I don't think I can move.
Mr. Waffles: You have to move, Reese. You have to get home to your family and friends and your country. These people have no idea what breakfast is. They take rice from the night before and cook it up into a thin paste. Is that your idea of breakfast?
Reese: No, but-
Mr. Waffles: Do you ever want to taste my buttery goodness again?
Reese: You know I do.
Mr. Waffles: Reese, listen to me. I now have 20% more blueberries in every box.
Reese: My legs.
Mr. Waffles: They plump up in the batter!
Reese: They're so juicy that way! I'm coming home!
Mr. Waffles: I'm proud of you, son.
Reese: Whatever happened to Mrs. Waffles? She was hot.
Mr. Waffles: Yes, she was. But she didn't increase product awareness in girls 3 to 18 a single percent.