Malcolm: I'm Malcolm. I'm here Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 3:00 to 7:00.
Nurse Peterson: No one volunteers here. They're all signing up for the glamorous jobs at the burn unit.
Malcolm: I just want to do something to help veterans.
Nurse Peterson: Really? You think you can handle helping around here? How 'bout trying to give Mr. Skoros a sponge bath?
Malcolm: Sure.
Nurse Peterson: Or maybe you'd prefer to clip Mr. Deepmarth toenails.
Malcolm: Okay.
Nurse Peterson: Or how 'bout going room to room emptying bed pans and stanching bed sores?
Malcolm: You know, I think I can save us both a little time here. This is how I see it playing out: you're keep thinking of worse and worse jobs for me to do, and you know what? I'm going to do them, all of them, no matter what. Why? It doesn't matter. I have my reasons. So go ahead, knock yourself out.
Nurse Peterson: Well, it kind of takes some of the fun out of it, but okay. You can start the afternoon enemas with Mr. Klegman.
Malcolm: It'll be my pleasure.