Malcolm: Hey, I do your taxes. I know what you and Mom make. I know how much you're spending, and I have a pretty good idea what it costs to have a baby. [Hal sighs] You guys are going to be at least 70 bucks In the hole every month. By the time the baby starts school, You're going to be $18,000 in debt, and that's where they'll cut you off. You're going to be bankrupt and ruined.
Hal: Something will come up.
Malcolm: You can't keep saying that.
Hal: Fine. I'm a failure as a father. I'm a terrible provider. Is that what you want to hear?
Malcolm: No. But I have a way to fix it.
Hal: What's this?
Malcolm: It's from the Martindale Academy. It's this amazing prep school... but it's in London. They're offering me a complete scholarship. Tuition, housing, everything. If I'm not home... you just might make it. I'm totally willing to do it.
Hal: Absolutely not. You don't get to leave.
Malcolm: But you...
Hal: Malcolm, you're our only hope.
Dewey: Hold this.
Hal: Sure. Now let me explain something to you. Whenever your mother or I say "Something will come up" or "Things will work out," that is our code for "Malcolm will think of something."
Malcolm: But-
Hal: We need you. The family is only a family as long as we all stick together.