Malcolm: I knew it! I knew if I came back I'd catch you here. You can't be trusted for five seconds, let alone a whole weekend.
Reese: Okay, look, just don't tell- Wait a minute. What are you doing here?
Malcolm: Me? I'm here to guard the house from your bad things you're doing.
Reese: What's in the bag? Candles... chocolate-covered strawberries... Sleepless in Seattle. My God, you're gay.
Malcolm: No, I'm not. Look, I don't know how I did it, but I talked Kathy McCulskey into coming over tonight.
Reese: Kathy McCulskey? I'm impressed. She doesn't leave her house for anything less than second base.
Malcolm: Which is exactly why we need the house to ourselves.