Cynthia: Malcolm! Malcolm! What are you doing?
Malcolm: My dad has a hide-a-key. Here we go.
Lloyd: I don't want to be a stickler, but you don't have the right decal for this lot.
Cynthia: Malcolm, stop this. You don't have a license.
Malcolm: That's okay. I'm just going to crash into my mom's car.
Cynthia: This is crazy, Malcolm! This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Malcolm: No, it's not, it's smart. I just take this car and crash it into that car. Then I'll be in military school just like Francis was. It'll be paradise.
Stevie: Somebody... with feet... stop him!
Kevin: For the love of God, your shirttail's stuck in the door!
Dabney: Take me with you!