Lois: [answers phone] Hello?
Craig: Hi, Lois, it's Craig.
Lois: Craig. I can't talk right now, er, I'm on the other line.
Craig: It's okay. This will only take a second. I have something to say to you that I only feel comfortable saying because we're like family. Your son Malcolm is a filthy vandal.
Lois: What?!
Craig: He threw eggs all over the front of my new apartment. Him and his little wheelchair friend. They wanted some free Lucky Aide candy, I said no, next thing I know, it's like D Day here.
Lois: Malcolm, get in here!
Craig: You'd think I'd be the last person he'd target after I forgave your family for burning my old place down, which I'd like to remind you, I hardly ever mention.
Lois: Craig, I am so sorry!
Craig: Well, boys will be boys. All I want is for him to come over and clean it up. And if he could stop and get me a non-fat latte along the way, that would be great.