Lois: You're just working yourself up to get your own way. You always do that, Hal.
Hal: What should I do when I know that you looked me in the face...
[fantasy:]
Hal: [sings] And... you lied?
Lois: [sings] Don't be hysterical. You always get hysterical.
Hal: It's called having feelings. You should know. You're an expert at faking them! At least mine are real!
Lois: Hal, don't make a thing out of this!
Hal: What should a man do, when he knows that he'll never be happy again? Sing a song?
Lois: Just get a grip, Hal, don't overreact.
Hal: Overreact? I feel horrible, I feel lousy! I'm having a stroke, seriously, Lois. It feels just like one.
Men: [sing] We think it's one, too! We're sure it's one, too!
Lois: It's a panic attack, Like that time in the laundromat, Breathe into a pillow!
Women: [sing] Good idea.
Men: A pillow?! How cruel! How callous! Poor Hal!
Women: This stroke is the worst case of emotional blackmail, she's ever seen!
Lois: And... I've seen plenty!
Men: Call 911!
Hal: Tell them a blood vessel just burst in my brain, Just halfway between my neck and my nose. That's only if you care! If not, feel free To sit by while I die, and watch Leno!
Women: Blackmail!
Men: Stroke!
Women: Blackmail!
Men: Stroke!
Women: What a big baby!
Men: What a giant stroke!