Quote from Hal in Reese Joins the Army: Part 1
Hal: What's happening? What are you doing? Agent Stone: Wixted rolled over on you, Hal. He told us all about your offshore accounts in the Cayman Islands, altering documents, the villa, everything. Lois: Can't he at least put some pants on? Agent Stone: Just as soon as we get a good perp-walk out of him. Lois: This is ridiculous! He doesn't belong in jail! He doesn't even look in the back of the TV Guide for the crossword answers! Hal: Honey, I love you. Keep the phone bill paid so I can call you. And the trick to the thermostat is to push in before you twist it. Police Officer: Sir, you need to stand still. Hal: And I need a lawyer. Not Reese's. I-I want a good one. Police Officer: Sir, you need to stop squirming. Lois: Boys, go back in the house. Hal: Boys, your daddy loves you very much. And don't worry about this. Police Officer: Sir, this is your last warning. Hal: Believe in the American Justice Sys... [screams] Dewey: I guess Dad's a no.