Malcolm: Reese, why are you dressed like that?
Reese: I figured out what she likes. I saw her cheering for the football team, so I joined the cheerleading squad.
Malcolm: Why didn't you join the football team, doofus?
Reese: She's a cheerleader.
Malcolm: Reese, you're a guy. Guy cheerleaders are the lowest of the low. Worse than band, worse than Krelboynes. The only thing lower is that guy that never takes his hand out of his butt.
Reese: Oh, Chester? He's a cheerleader too. Does a lot of solo work.
Malcolm: [to camera] I tried to help him. I gave him advice. I tried reasoning with him. There's only one thing left to do... sit back and laugh my ass off. [to Reese] Good luck.