Malcolm: Mom, you have to talk to this lady. She won't let me return this book.
Lois: Oh, my God. What did you do to your pants?
Malcolm: What?
Lois: Oh, for crying out loud. How did you get a stain there already?
Malcolm: Mom, come on.
Lois: It wasn't there this morning.
Malcolm: Mom, stop. It's no big deal.
Lois: No big deal? You begged me for these pants. You almost started crying in the store when I wasn't going to buy them for you, and now look what you did to them. That looks like that's coming from the inside.
Malcolm: Mom, leave me alone. You're embarrassing me.
Lois: Oh, I am not embarrassing you. [to another boy] Would you be embarrassed by this? [he shakes his head] No. See? Come on. See if we can find some club soda and get that out.
Stevie: Justice... is swift.