Malcolm: [to camera] So then, the principal comes out and everyone's all talking at once. So the story he puts together is that Spath attacks Stevie for his lunch and I'm like this hero that stepped in to defend him. It was beautiful. Okay, it wasn't funny when Spath started crying. No, wait, it was. Dad's hair ugh. Yeah, I know. It's gross. But, hey, if a bunch of birds can make the best out of what they get then so can I.
Dewey: [o.s.] Malcolm?
Malcolm: Like having to go to special class. I can make it work out, right?
Dewey: [o.s.] Malcolm?
Malcolm: Not now! Or my family. We're not the greatest family in the world but we can get better. I mean, it's not impossible.
Dewey: [o.s.] Malcolm?
Malcolm: What?!
Dewey: [in the trash can Malcolm's sitting on] Can I get out?
Malcolm: No, stop asking. So basically, I think everything's going to be okay.
Dewey: [pounding] A bug went up my nose.
Malcolm: So what do you want me to do about it?