Malcolm: Dad, I'm sorry. I know we fought about this, but, the truth is I'm actually glad you kept those college guys off my back.
Hal: Well, son, it hasn't been easy. Today I've got two lunches, a coffee... Oh, and I'm going bowling with a guy from Yale.
Malcolm: Thanks to you, I was able to clear my head and make my decision.
Hal: No, you haven't. I have a lobster dinner next Tuesday.
Malcolm: I've decided to go to Harvard.
Hal: Harvard? I waited at that frozen yogurt shop for two hours, and he never showed!
Malcolm: I just wrote a letter of early acceptance. I'm mailing it today. They can accept me as early as tomorrow, and all this will stop.
Hal: Stop?
Malcolm: Thanks again, Dad. It's a big relief to me.
Hal: Harvard? You're destroying your life!