Lois: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Hal: What?
Lois: You are going to die!
Hal: What is it?
Lois: I know I always say that gossip rots your soul, but it doesn't count when it's this good. Last night, I covered for Bernice so she could leave early, and when she got home, she found Charlie standing in their living room wearing her red cocktail dress! The one from the Christmas party with all the feathers!
Hal: Good God!
Lois: He admitted it's been going on for years. He said it started one day when he accidentally used lipstick instead of Chap Stick. The next thing you knew, he was wearing a teddy under his police uniform.
Hal: Man is a complicated beast.
Lois: Can you imagine keeping something like that from your spouse? [kisses Hal] So glad we don't have any secrets.