Hal: You know what would help?
Lois: What?
Hal: If you changed your mind and told me that you believed in heaven.
Lois: You want me to lie to you?
Hal: It's not lying if what you say would be true if the facts were different. I'll work with whatever you give me. If you just say the words, you'll be giving me a tiny little gray area where I can live in peace for the rest of my life. I can live in gray, Lois. Let me live in gray!
Lois: Hal, I'm sorry, I have to tell you the truth.
Hal: Why?
Lois: Because it's what I believe in. It's what I hang onto. The truth is all that I have. If I could give it up for anybody, I would give it up for you, but I just can't.
Hal: [whines] Heaven's going to suck!