Marshall Quote #1215

Quote from Marshall in Sunrise

Marshall: [on the phone] So the reason someone can't come up to fix the air conditioning is that the ghost of Captain Dearduff, who haunts this room, likes it muggy?
Curtis: That's correct. Although, now that I say it out loud, it does sound kind of ridiculous, because there's no such thing as ghosts. Right?
Marshall: You have outflanked me, Front Desk Guy! Victory is yours!

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 ‘Sunrise’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Barney: [slurring] A few final thoughts. Don't get married until you're 30. Play laser tag once a week. Give at least as many high fives as you get. Teacup pigs are lady magnets, but very hard to care for. Not worth the effort. The same goes for dogs and babies. And most importantly, whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary unless your friends are there to see it. Good luck, boys. Take care of the game for me.
Kyle: We will. Did you ever get his name?
Justin: No. What'd he give you?
Kyle: I don't know, but I think it's important. [Kyle holds a scrap of papers titled "The Playbook"]

Quote from Barney

Justin: I'm sorry, how exactly are you gonna teach us how to live?
Barney: The journey to awesome starts with a single... Actually, lots of singles. We're going to a strip club. [laughs]
Justin: Strip club? We're in the middle of nowhere.
Barney: There is always a strip club.
Justin: Hey, are you a little worried this guy might kill us?
Kyle: We just put a down payment on adult bunk beds. Would getting killed really be so bad?
Justin: Good point. I got a weird feeling. I mean, there's something off about... Whoa!
Barney: Question: why does this sign say "gentlemen's club"? Answer: because The Crab Shed is a place for gentlemen. A gentleman tips generously. A gentleman uses the complimentary bathroom cologne... [whispering] ...but not too much. Oh. This is important. Your instinct may be to avoid the free buffet. Your instinct is wrong. Don't sleep on the meatballs, gentlemen. They are exquisite! Come on!

Quote from Barney

Justin: Oh, my God, this is amazing! I ruined my pants, but it's totally worth it! Best meatballs ever! Mmm!
Kyle: I'm gonna ask a serious question right now. Can a person live in a strip club?
Barney: Yes. For the next few years, your strip club will be like home. Then, one day, you'll date a stripper and almost marry her, and after that, you'll realize you're done with strip clubs. In the sense that you'll dial it back to, like, once a week.
Justin: I feel like I can talk to women now.
Kyle: Yeah. You just stick a dollar bill in your mouth, and the conversation starts itself.
Justin: You know, I think we're ready to go back to that party and meet some ladies.
Barney: [laughs] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! [slapping them both on each word] You! Are! Not! Ready! Your training is complete when I say your training is complete! Come on, let's go.