Marshall Quote #1201
Quote from Marshall in Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmara
[fantasy:]
Marshall: Look, I'm really just here to finish my training. Um, so look, the truth is... I have a divorced cousin just outside of Akron. Now, I wouldn't call Janice easy on the eyes or the springs of a bathroom scale, but if you want I could set you up.
Ted: Sold. Now, the most important lesson in learning accuracy... [coughs]
[reality:]
Marshall: He was dying right before my eyes. So I did the only thing that I could think to do.
[fantasy:]
Marshall: Please.
[reality:]
Marshall: I slapped his back. And that's when I found out why "No slapping until your training is complete" is the most important rule, because my slap was too powerful. I hadn't learned accuracy and so I couldn't control it. And, well...
[fantasy of Ted's heart being slapped out of his body:]
Marshall: No!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmara’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Marshall: A slap in the face. Ah, yes, Barney, there's something I need to tell you about the next slap that you're going to receive. You see, I want this slap to be as painful as humanly possible.
All: Sure.
Barney: Okay, okay. Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there. Yes, you won a slap bet with me seven years ago. And yes, over the years you got in some great slaps...
Marshall: Some great slaps.
Barney: But here's the problem. You've tormented me so much that I am now immune to it. It's as if my face, my psyche, my soul were covered in that numbing cream, we all put on our deal so that we can go all night, right, fellas? Okay, we'll all just pretend like we've never done that. Just like we've all never sat on our left hand until it fell asleep and then used it for an away-gamer. Okay, we'll all pretend like we've never done that, just like we've all never taken two live jumper cables...
Ted: Please, stop.
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Oh, sorry, kids. I forgot to mention there's a bit of a back-story to this particular slap.
[flashback a few weeks earlier:]
Marshall: Oh, man. At least it landed on the mustard stain.
Barney: Don't bother. That suit is a stain. A stain on the very institution of suits. You know what tie goes with that suit? The tie at the top of a Hefty bag. A suit like that only needs one button, self-destruct.
Lily: Hey, I bought him that suit.
Barney: Where, Barfs Brothers? Men's Outhouse? Georgio Arms-Are-Not-The-Same-Lengthy? That suit is a slap in the face to all suits everywhere.
Quote from Marshall
Barney: Cleveland?
Marshall: Cleveland.
Barney: Why Cleveland?
Marshall: It's the city equivalent of being slapped in the face.
Ted: Bro.