Barney Quote #1760
Quote from Barney in The Stamp Tramp
Robin: That's it? T-shirts and beer cozies? That's disrespect, son! Here's what you do: Hit a few strip clubs in Jersey and Long Island.
Barney: Jersey? Long Island? Why would I go to a Third World nation to get my knob wobbled?
Robin: Well, you wouldn't. But when the clubs in the city hear you're sniffing around across the river, those beer cozies and T-shirts turn into Rolexes and fur coats. Especially from that strip club, Fur Coats.
Barney: Wow. That's genius. You're hired.
Robin: What do you mean?
Barney: I want you to be my strip club agent.
Robin: What is wrong with you?
Barney: Well, I just figured I'd ask...
Robin: No, I was talking to myself, because, for some reason, I really want to do that!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Stamp Tramp’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
[flashback:]
Man: Mr. Stinson, we might not have the best strippers at Moneyballs, but we use sabermetrics to get you a stripper with a five body, sure, and another with a butter face, but together, with their tireless grinding, we guarantee a high on-pants percentage.
[flashback:]
Barney: I gotta be honest with you, Fred, I can't really see myself signing with the Golden Oldies.
Fred: Well, that's what everyone says... at first. But our GILFs have got class. They've got maturity and experience, and the kind of mind-blowing flexibility that only comes from advanced hip dysplasia.
[flashback:]
Man: Barney, the Lusty Leopard would be lost without you. I think you're really gonna like a couple of the girls we just pulled up from the minors. Don't leave us!
Quote from Barney
Barney: Man, these strip clubs want me so bad. They're sending me T-shirts, beer cozies. Sticky's even sent me a boob-shaped hand-sanitizer dispenser. It's clean and dirty at the same time.
Quote from Marshall
Lily: Well, maybe this isn't the moment to stick your neck out for Brad.
Marshall: Well, that's not how I was raised. Back in St. Cloud, we believe in people, people like Gudren Olsen, the town wino who became our mayor. They even wound up naming a bridge after him. The one he drove off.