Ted Quote #1120
Quote from Ted in Good Crazy
Ted: Barney, I don't need you to help me find a girl online.
Barney: Exactly, because I've already done it. Three girls, in fact. I scoured the dating sites using my own personal logarithms, factoring in a broad spectrum of variables, filtering out undesirable high-risk negatives, guaranteeing a success rate of 83-
Ted: You picked the girls that showed the most boob.
Barney: My methods get results. Go out with these three girls and your palate is going to be so cleansed, you will see your reflection in it. And when you do... you can fix the hair, because... Have you seen yourself?
Ted: No. But you know what I have seen? Your stripper girlfriend's cans.
Both: Wow.
Ted: That was going way too far, wasn't it? I'm sorry. My condolences. [high-fives Barney]
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Good Crazy’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Barney: No, I'm thinking of something much more traditional: online dating.
Ted: Yeah. No, thanks.
Barney: Come on, Ted, it's 2012. What do you expect, to meet some cute travel agent when you're readin' a newspaper at a bookstore? None of those things exist anymore.
Quote from Barney
Marshall: Lily's right. I've been acting crazy.
Barney: Nah, it's okay, bro. I mean, yeah, you've been a little crazy. But it comes from love. It's the same kind of crazy that makes a man offer his stripper girlfriend over half a million dollars of government bailout money not to rub up on other guys' junk. It's good crazy.
Quote from Barney
Barney: You know, it's funny. You tell the average guy you're dating a stripper, he thinks it's awesome. Heck, you tell your mom, she high-fives you so fast, she doesn't even take off her oven mitts. But if they had any idea
how difficult it is - the jealousy, the insecurity - those high fives would be high fives of condolence.
Ted: Barney, condolence high fives are not a thing.
Barney: They're a thing.
[flashback to Barney at work:]
Barney: I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go. Up top.