Marshall Quote #819
Quote from Marshall in A Change of Heart
Scooby: I'm really into gardening, but these squirrels keep messing with my tomatoes. Every time I see them in the backyard, I'm like, "Get out of here!" And they run off, but sure enough, a few minutes later, there they are again. And I'm like, "Get out of here!" So annoying. [sniffing] I smell food. Does this place have a kitchen? I'll be right back.
Robin: Okay, but you have to admit that he is a lot of fun.
Marshall: Oh, I actually think he's quite intelligent for what he is.
Robin: And what is he?
Marshall: He's a dog.
Ted: He's totally a dog.
Robin: What? You saw him hitting on someone?
Marshall: No, I didn't say, "He a dawg." I said, "He's a dog." As in, a dog. I think we've all noticed a few curious mannerisms. Or rather, doggerisms.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘A Change of Heart’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, the heart is a mysterious muscle. You never really know what's going on in there. So after Uncle Marshall lost his father, he decided to get his heart checked. And so did I. And so did Lily. And so did Robin. And then Marshall went again just to be sure. There was only one holdout.
Barney: I don't need to go to a heart doctor. I drink every day, I sleep three hours every night, and I have multiple sex partners. I'm doing everything right.
Quote from Barney
Lily: [singsong voice] Oh, Barney's got feeling for a girl.
Barney: Yeah. Penis feelings. Because she's hot. Guys, as you know, I only have one rule...
Future Ted: [v.o.] Barney said this a lot.
Barney: I only have one rule: if you're gonna get it on in a Port-O-Potty, do it early in the day.
Barney: I only have one rule: Never screw over a girl whose last name ends in a vowel. 'Cause she's got brothers.
Barney: I only have one rule: Never date a girl with a hook for a hand.
[present:]
Barney: Never go out with the same girl more than once.
Lily: Then why are you going out with Nora again?
Barney: There is an exception.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And it was always the same exception.
Barney: ...unless she's hot.
Barney: ...unless she's hot.
Barney: ...unless she's hot. Arr!
[present:]
Barney: And she is indeed hot.
Quote from Ted
Ted: Barney, come on, this is important. We need you around for a long time. Without you, we'd have to find some other sex-fueled, depraved animal to entertain us.