Robin: Chip and dip, Barney?
Barney: Sure.
Robin: A-ha! [camera clicks] Got it! A bad picture.
Barney: Is it, though?
Robin: No, wait. You were eating a chip! Where's the chip?
Barney: It is physically impossible for me to take a bad picture. I don't know why. Ask God. [kisses his fingers and raises them to the heavens]

Robin: Oh, whoopsie, hey, I dropped my phone. You mind picking it up for me?
Barney: Oh, sure.
Robin: Smile, you son-of-a-bitch! Got it!
Barney: Did you, though?
Robin: What? How do you do that? You weren't even standing up.
Barney: The camera loves me, Robin. More than loves me. The camera lusts after me. The camera wants to put on some nice lingerie, pop in an Al Green CD, dim the lights, and do all the work, while I just lie there with my eyes closed. [clicks tongue]

Robin: Wait a second, look at these pictures again. Barney has the same pose in each shot, and these are, like, years apart.
Barney: Ah, yes, about that. I never take a bad picture. Never have. Never will.
Robin: [scoffs] Okay, there has to be a bad picture of you.
Barney: Nope! Not one.
Robin: What about from elementary school? Everyone has bad pictures from school.
Barney: Not the Barnacle. I always look drop-dead, stone-cold amazing. Unlike Marshall, who just looks dead, stoned, and cold.