Ted Quote #757
Tiffany: Anyway, I just don't think you and I are gonna work. [whispers] Right now.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that's when it hit me. I was on the hook. I also realized...
Tiffany: I missed this so much, baby.
Future Ted: Tiffany was on this guy's hook. It was a vicious cycle. Henrietta was on my hook. And years later, I found out this poor bastard was on Henrietta 's hook.
Ted: You know what? We're not gonna work, ever. I'm done. And it's really better for the circulation if you knead the arches with your thumbs. Now I'm done.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Hooked’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: What? It's just a job.
Barney: Just a... Just a... Ah! Ted, throughout time, there has always been one cutting-edge profession to which hot girls, like Tiffany, have flocked. Shall I walk you through the history?
Ted: I'm gonna explicitly say no.
Barney: It all started 2.5 million years ago.
[flashback to a cave-man Barney hitting rocks:]
Barney: [v.o.] Man was a hunter. So the hottest profession of the day? Gatherer.
Barney: Homo erectus, indeed. [winks to camera]
[flashback to an injured Barney in a field hospital:]
Barney: [v.o.] As man mastered technology, the hottest profession of the day evolved.
Barney: I'm pretty sure it's a hernia. Can you check again? [winks to camera]
[flashback to Barney seated in first class on an airplane:]
Barney: [v.o.] And then man took to the skies. And so hot women put on high heels and became stewardesses.
Barney: I am in the upright and locked position. [winks to camera]
[present:]
Barney: And then man said, "Life is hard. I should start taking lots of prescription drugs." And so, hot girls rolled into doctors' offices, looking sexy enough to render the very erection pills they peddled ironically redundant. So, now, pharma girls are today's hottest profession.
Quote from Barney
Diana: Hey, Barney, I want you to meet the newest pharma girl.
Gladys: Gladys Reynolds. Nice to make your acquaintance. I represent statins and other cholesterol-lowering drugs.
Diana: Come on, girl. Let's go get our drink on!
Gladys: Okay.
Barney: It's over.
Robin: What's over?
Barney: Pharma girls are no longer exclusively hot chicks. It's the end of an era.
Robin: You're being a little dramatic.
Barney: Am I? It starts out with a Gladys. Next thing you know, a few not-so-fabulous gay guys enter the ranks. And before you know it, pharma girls look like the crew on a Southwest flight from Albuquerque to Little Rock. It's over. [slams the table]
Quote from Barney
Barney: Ain't no party like a pharma girl party 'Cause a pharma girl party don't stop. Dude, I've already hooked up with three of them. Fantazmo. Plus, my cholesterol is down, my Restless Leg Syndrome is cured. I've never felt more alive!