Barney Quote #576
Quote from Barney in No Tomorrow
Ted: And it may be a moot point. I mean, it doesn't look like we're getting in. Look at this. You know why there's a line? It's because I ditched Marshall and Lily, and now the universe is punishing us for it, that's why.
Barney: Yo. What's it gonna cost us to get in, $20? $40?
Ted: Dude, come on, you're making the wee folk look bad. Just give him your pot o' gold.
Bouncer: Is it just you two?
Ted: Don't worry. We're not gonna blow your ratio. We happen to have two very hot girls with us.
Barney: Mine's the hotter one.
Bouncer: Sorry, guys. Look, if it was just you two, you could go in right now. We got nothing but girls in there. People are gonna start thinking it's a lesbian bar.
Barney: Would you excuse us for just a minute?
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘No Tomorrow’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: [answers phone] Barney, where are you?
Barney: In a cab, heading downtown with our hot and sexy dates for the evening. Yes, it happens that fast! We're going to that club, Low Point, and you're coming with us.
Ted: Barney, for the last time...
Barney: All right, I didn't want to tell you this in front of Marshall and Lily because they're old and married, and it's too late for them anyway, but Ted, the world is going to come to an end tonight. Yes. Think about it. End of the world, Nostradamus. Notre Dame. Fighting Irish. Irish. St. Patrick's Day. This is it, bro. Bro-pocalypse Now. Bromageddon.
Quote from Future Ted
Future Ted: [v.o.] So that was Saint Patrick's Day, 2008. I found out years later that your mom was at that party. I just didn't meet her. And it's a good thing I didn't, 'cause if I had met her, I don't think she would have liked me. Heck, I don't think I liked me. But that's okay. Tomorrow had arrived. You see, I didn't know it yet, but my luck was about to change.
Quote from Barney
Ted: The whole do bad, good things happen... Ashlee is married.
Barney: So?
Ted: What do you mean, so?
Barney: Open your brain tank, brah, 'cause here comes some premium 91 octane knowledge. There's three rules of cheating: It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married, it's not cheating if her name has two adjacent vowels, and it's not cheating if she's from a different area code. You're fine on all three counts.
Ted: How do you know she's from a different area code?
Barney: She's 516. She might dress like she's 718, act like she's 212, but trust me, she's 516. Oh, and her husband, letting her out alone on Saint Patty's Day? If that dude's not 973, I'm 307. Wyoming.