Ted Quote #54

Quote from Ted in The Pineapple Incident

Ted: [on the phone] Hello, Robin. It's Ted.
Robin: Oh, hi, Ted.
Ted: Hello, Robin. It's Ted.
Robin: Hi, Ted. Sounds like you're having fun.
Ted: Robin, have I ever told you that I'm vomit-free since ninety-three?
Robin: Listen, Ted, I can't really talk right... '93? Dude, that's impressive.
Ted: I don't say this enough, but you're a great woman, and a great reporter. You should be on 60 Minutes. You should be one of the minutes.
Robin: That's sweet and odd. But I'm kinda on a date right now.
Ted: Yeah, and I disagree with Barney. Just 'cause this guy is spending a lot of money doesn't mean you have to put out. Take it slow, Robin, take it slow. Slow.
Robin: Bye Ted.
Ted: Slow.

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 ‘The Pineapple Incident’ Quotes

Quote from Ted

Carl: If he pukes, one of you guys cleans it up.
Lily: No dibs.
Marshall: Oh.
Barney: No... Dammit!
Ted: How quickly you all forget. I haven't puked since high school. I am vomit-free since ninety-three. Vomit free since ninety-three. That's funny. I'm funny.

Quote from Marshall

Ted: We're not really doing shots, are we?
Lily: I hope not.
Barney: No, no.
Lily: These look kinda like blood.
Marshall: Okay, I know that you've all dismissed this theory before, but is there any chance that Carl is a vampire?
Barney: That's ridiculous.
Marshall: I'm serious. Think about it. He always wears black, we never see him in the daylight, only after dark.
Robin: Oh my God, that does describe a vampire. Or you know, a bartender.

Quote from Robin

Robin: Well, I should go get dressed.
Ted: Where are you going, buddy? Hot date?
Lily: I'll say, she's going out with a billionaire.
Robin: Lily, I told you not to call him that.
Ted: Wait, you're really going out with a billionaire?
Robin: He's not a billionaire. He's a hundred millionaire. Why do people always round up?