Lily Quote #716
Quote from Lily in The Broken Code
Future Ted: [v.o.] As she watched Robin make a new friend, Lily was happy. For two seconds.
[fantasy scene of Robin watching sports with Amanda:]
Amanda: Oh, no.
Robin: Come on, ref. I haven't seen that much hooking go unpunished since my last trip to Vegas.
Amanda: And I was on that trip, because we're best friends now.
Robin: Hey, this might sound a little nutty. But how about we inject a sexual edge into our abiding friendship that...
Both: In no way jeopardizes our emotional connection or respective marriages?
[present:]
Lily: Hell, no.
Robin: Excuse me. I've got a Boston brewing, if you know what I mean. [both laughing]
Lily: [to Amanda] You listen and you listen good. If I see your face around Robin again, you'll be crying about a lot more than your precious New York Rodgers.
Amanda: Rangers?
Lily: I will cut you.
Robin: Forgot my purse. You know what? That's why I only need you. Because you're a psycho. My psycho.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Broken Code’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Marshall: [over video chat] To resolve this, I really need to parse the text of the Bro Code.
Ted: Too bad Marshall doesn't have a copy.
Marshall: Actually, I do. They were in the seat-back pockets of my flight in place of the safety cards.
Barney: I'm also pleased to announce the Bro Code is now available in select airlines across the country. And Lufthansa. Der Bro Code is, like, huge in Germany.
Quote from Barney
Ted: So you are mad about me and Robin holding hands.
Barney: Of course I'm mad, Ted. Holding hands is like the fourth grade equivalent of banging. Well, in your case, 12th grade. Self-five. You broke the Bro Code.
Ted: No, I did not. I only went to help Robin as a friend because you didn't show up. I did not break the Bro Code.
Barney: It's in the text: "A bro shall not have a weird moment with another bro's fiancee."
Ted: Well, too bad we're in Farhampton and can't actually check.
Barney: I'm pleased to announce the Bro Code has replaced the Gideons' Bible at select hotels throughout the country.
Quote from Barney
Barney: It's in here somewhere. It has to be. Damn it. I should've done these in alpha-bro-tical order.
Ted: Who cares about the Bro Code? It's just some stupid book you made up.
Barney: [gasps] How dare you? The Bro Code has been around for centuries. Nay... whatever's more than centuries.
Ted: Please don't launch into a fake history lesson.
Barney: The Bro Code can trace its lineage all the way back to Broses himself.
[historical fantasy:]
Broses: Article 1: Bros before ho's.
[present:]
Ted: Okay, I see what you're doing. You can't prove I broke the Code, so you're making up stories.
Barney: This sacred text was eventually brought to the New World in 1776 by none other than Christopher Brolumbus.
[historical fantasy:]
Christopher Brolumbus: Article 62: A bro who calls dibs first has dibs. Oh? Dibs.
[present:]
Barney: And that's why he got to bang Pocahontas.
Ted: Pocahontas was with John Smith.
Barney: Maybe according to the hotel register. Whatever Mrs. Brolumbus didn't know couldn't hurt her, right? Except maybe that New World syphilis, but I digress.