Ted Quote #425

Quote from Ted in Sandcastles in the Sand

Barney: I'm sorry, Simon. Here we are nattering on about our big celebrity. What do you do for a living?
Simon: Oh, I work at the Splish Splash Ottawa Water Slide Park.
Ted: Huh! A water slide park. That sure is different than what Robin does.
Simon: Yeah, it is, because I save lives. If I'm not sitting in that stool at the top of the slide, going... "[raises hand] Go, [raises hand] go, [raises hand] go." people die. What, you think it's so easy? You try it.
Ted: Um... [clears his throat)... okay. Go.
Simon: You didn't put your hand up. Kid just died.
Ted: No, I didn't know...
Simon: Another kid just went. He died, too.
Ted: Oh, well, sure. I mean, if I was actually...
Simon: Another kid just went; now you've got a pile-up and Robin's got something to report on the news. This just in: My friend, Ted, just killed a bunch of kids today.


 ‘Sandcastles in the Sand’ Quotes

Quote from Lily

Robin: That was ten years ago. People evolve. I mean, are you the same person that you were in high school?
[Lily sees her African-American friend Michelle enter MacLaren's:]
Lily: Oh, hell, no!
Marshall: I think you're gonna enjoy this.
Lily: That my girl Michelle?
Michelle: Bitch, you know it!
Lily: How she livin'?
Michelle: She living only way she know how to. Large!
Lily: Oh, girl, you gots to get your drink on up in here.
Michelle: I'm hoping my fat ass can hustle me up a vodka-Gatorade.
Lily: For reals. [snaps fingers]

Quote from Robin

[Robin Sparkles, "Sandcastles in the Sand". Make It Sparkle. Dominant Records]
Robin: [singing] Met you at the mall. Didn't know how far ... My friends said I was a fool. You're a fool. [Shut up]. 'Cause you were a fool and got kicked out of school. [You're so rad.] Together we were gonna travel the globe. From Alberta to Ontario. And now I'm building sandcastles in the sand. [Sandcastles in the sand] Though I could fly when you held my hand. Thought I could fly [But now] Eternity returns to black and white. It was the greatest weekend and a half of my life. We used to go to the beach. On our favorite bench. We'd sit and talk and you taught me to French.

Quote from Barney

Marshall: So is he the guy who... How shall I say this like a gentleman? Robin, did he take your maple leaf?
Robin: No, it wasn't like that.
Barney: Sounds to me like he gave you your first "O, Canada!" face.
Future Ted: [v.o.] This went on for a really long time. Some of them jokes were elegant and well-crafted... [fast-forward]
Lily: Wait, wait. Did he break up with you and tell you he's just not that Inuit? [fast-forward]
Future Ted: others were crude, and ill-formed...
Ted: Um, something about fur trapping.
Barney: Did you ride his Zamboni?
Future Ted: and others were obvious, but needed to be said... [fast-toward]
Barney: Did you ride his Zamboni?